Inspired by Noita and the Sacred Alchemist of the Mad Queen's Court

Notes on the whole dungeon

Each room has the alchemical symbol associated with its element on the floor. Doors are unlocked unless stated otherwise. The dungeon entrance is unlocked; if you want to render the dungeon inaccessible at first, place the lock on the door between the silver and lead rooms. The water, vitriol, and Mercury rooms count as fully-stocked alchemical laboratories.

Background Lore for the DM (tell the players as much or as little as you wish)
The dungeon used to be a royally-sanctioned alchemical laboratory. The silver room was where exchanges were made, only highly trusted or highly important visitors like royalty could enter the other metal rooms, and no one but the alchemists were allowed in the triangle. Their funding and official sanctioning was revoked upon seeing the results of their experiments to seek immortality (the damned, non, and tainted alchemists).

GOLEM (With help from Archon’s Court)
Appears as an ogre-sized humanoid covered in iron plates, with tubes and wires visible behind the chinks. A bright blue glow is visible behind the chest plates. Left hand has syringes instead of fingers. Very loud, you’ll hear it coming if it’s walking to the room you’re in.
Travels through the triangle counterclockwise, changing rooms every turn (starts in Mercury, moves Mercury-Air-Sulfur-Fire-Earth-Salt-Water-Mercury). Will attack anyone it sees, with the exception of alchemical goblins within the earth room and anyone wearing the alchemist’s robes.
Resists physical, fire, and acid damage, immune to poison and psychic and anything else constructs are immune to.
7 HD, armor as plate, high strength (19 in classic scores, +4 modifier). Can release gas as an action (d4: 1. Toxic 2. Alcoholic 3. Pheromone 4. Acid, see random potions).
Attacks: iron fist/syringe finger d8+4/d6, syringe finger heals the golem the same amount of damage it deals.
If hit for maximum damage, or dealt a critical hit, it sprays fluid, roll d6 (see Random Potions for effects):

1. toxic sludge
2. Alcohol
3. Pheromone
4. Acid
5. Hastium
6. Oil

If its armor is broken open (effectively impossible without a warhammer/warpick, a very strong creature with claws, or Liquid Vis), its heart can be damaged, which bypasses damage resistances (not immunities).
Explodes one round after death, dealing 4d6 damage in a 10’ radius, save for half.
Its heart contains a powerful magical gemstone that can be sold to the right buyer for ~500 gp. It will not chase anyone beyond doors, even open ones (warded to protect visitors, labs, and experiments).

1. Silver Room: Entrance Hall. Nothing of value, signs of being looted thoroughly. Door leading to the next room is sealed, with a high-quality lock, magic, or whatever method you wish. Seal may be broken already, if it makes things easier.

2. Lead Room: Lounge. Contains a goblin warrior, a goblin alchemist, and a damned alchemist. North wall has an eye symbol, with the iris and pupil replaced with a glass globe full of teleportatium. If facing this eye after drinking or being splashed with teleportatium, teleport to the gold room (14).

3. Iron Room: Armory. Contains multiple polearms (mostly spears), quivers of arrows, daggers, maces, pistols, muskets, lead bullets, breastplates, helmets. Has 4 statues, 1d4 of which are animated statues. Treasure: quiver of 20 hollow arrows, gilded mace GIFT OF AVARICE (medium mace, +1 to hit and damage for each inventory slot of treasure the wielder holds) held in the hands of an animated statue that will not move unless it or the mace is touched.

4. Copper Room: Living quarters and dining room, lined with 9 small bedroom doors (1 in 6 of any given bedroom being currently occupied by a damned, non, or tainted alchemist, equal chances of each). Dining room contains old furniture and stains on the table that did not come from normal food. Roll d4 on the random encounter table to determine what’s currently present.

5. Sulfur Room: Diabolist’s lab. Pentacle of dried blood painted on the floor, tables have mostly low-value reagents for summoning (salt, sulfur, iron and silver flakes, etc.), 1d4 etched skulls, and 2d6 gp worth of offerings. Bookshelf contains many ruined books; intact books include guides to devil and demon summoning (at least one of which is dedicated to familiars), diabolism spellbook (contains 1d4 diabolist spells) information on different types of demon and devil, a book of necromancy (contains 1d4 necromancy spells), and 1d8 other intact books (roll on your favorite random book table).

6. Fire Room: Gas and explosive lab. Contains 1d4 bottles of alchemist’s fire, containers and apparatuses for working with gasses (one of which is full of a large amount of flammable gas), a barrel of gunpowder, and the pistol SPELL KILLER (can damage ongoing spell effects, subtracting damage from [SUM] and dispelling the spell if [sum] becomes 0. Step up damage vs spellcasters.) on a trapped display (triggers when pistol's weight is removed). Trap deals 2d6 fire to anyone directly in front of the display plus continuing 1d6 burning until put out, save for half and no burning.

7. Earth Room: Natural Cavern. Home of the alchemical goblins, larger than other rooms and connected to natural caverns (twisted, dark passageways can lead to outside the dungeon). Roll 1d6 for king:

1. Goblin Warrior
2. Goblin Alchemist
3. Hapless level 1 adventurer
4. A broom
5. A particularly large beetle
6. None, will crown one of the PCs and refuse to let them leave.

Room contains 2d4 goblin alchemists, 2d6 goblin warriors, and 3d12 regular goblins at any given time. Magical crystals and fungus grow here.

8. Salt Room: Kitchen. The bits on the side are pantries. Contains 1 full keg of whiskey and one half-full keg, a large barrel ¾ full of salt, 1d4 rations of preserved food, significantly more rotted food, 1d4 bottles of aged wine, large amounts of some… substance that appears completely inedible yet stored like food, and the remains of some recently-butchered goblins. 50% chance the cook (a Tainted Alchemist) is present.

9. Vitriol Room: One of the three main labs. 25% chance of a tainted alchemist in addition to other encounters. Contains alchemical equipment, 1d4 random potions, two vats of liquid (acid, concentrated vis), a vial of acid, and a single vial of universal solvent.

10. Water Room: One of the three main labs. 25% chance of a tainted alchemist in addition to other encounters. Contains 1d6 random potions, a vat of thick purple slime, a vat of toxic sludge, alchemical equipment, and a large jug of distilled water.

11. Mercury Room: The last of the three main labs. Same 25% chance of a tainted alchemist. Contains three vats (teleportatium, berserkium, pheromone). Shelves and table have 1d4+1 random potions, some vials of mercury, and alchemical apparatuses.

12. Air Room: Spell research lab. Has 3 spells (transmute, extract, fabricate) embodied in specialized containers to be experimented on, may join the party mage if freed.

13. Antimony Room: Biology room. Contains 1d4 random potions, one healing potion, one potion of antivenom, mutated taxidermies, three caged mutated goblins, and a vat of unstable polymorphine. Has notes on the transformation into a tainted alchemist.

14. Gold Room: Only accessible by drinking or being splashed with teleportatium while facing the room from the earth, fire, or lead room or appropriate hallways. Contains a table with ruined notes, a pool of teleportatium, and a hollow gold statue that used to be an alchemist (worth 1,000 gp) holding an expended false philosopher’s stone (worthless).

15. Quintessence Room: Door to this room can only be opened by filling the slots on a triangular sigil on the door with vials, one salt, one mercury, one sulfur. The door has the respective symbols of each element in a triangular shape, arrange like the map is. The room itself contains the undead high alchemist, three homunculi (lead, gold, mercury), the preserved body part of a balrog or equivalent, a table with the high alchemist’s research notes detailing experiments of the part and its blood, two vats of oily demon blood, and an alchemical phylactery.

If you grant level ups from big treasures instead of gold for XP, the High Alchemist’s amulet, the golem’s heart, and the hollow statue are all treasures.

RANDOM POTIONS

1. Ambrosium (physical resistance, applied as ointment)
2. Vis (increased MD retention for 1 minutes)
3. Flommuxium (for the next minute, may only decide what you’re interacting with or how you interact with something, the other is determined randomly or by what’s least convenient)
4. Toxic Sludge (1d6 damage if splashed, 1d6 per minute for 5 minutes if imbibed)
5. Acid (self explanatory)
6. Teleportatium (teleports 30 feet in the direction you’re facing, even through walls)
7. Pheromone (if splashed with it, +1 to reaction rolls vs living things and increase chance of random encounter by 1)
8. Healing (heal 1d6+1 hp)
9. Thick, gluey slime
10. Unstable polymorphine (transform into a goblin for 10 minutes)
11. Hastium (for 1d6 rounds, double movement speed and gain one extra action per round, lose your turn when it runs out)
12. Berserkium (deal +1d4 damage on all damaging attacks and spells for 1 minute or duration of combat, can’t do anything but attack things if in combat)

GOBLIN ALCHEMISTS have 1 HD, 1 MD, unarmored, and a single random alchemical spell besides Transmute. Big ears, big mouths, sharp teeth, classic goblin but with robes entirely too big for them.

DAMNED ALCHEMISTS have 3 HD, armor as leather, a d6 claw, resist piercing, and render allies within 20’ resistant to all damage. There is a visible purple aura around it to show this effect. Appear to be oversized skeletons wearing torn robes meant for a human-sized wearer. Want to kill anything that isn’t an alchemist, golem, or goblin.

TAINTED ALCHEMISTS have armor as leather and 3 HD. d3 for 1. Gold, 2. Lead, 3. Mercury. Has 3 MD and 3 random spells from their list. Normally fully obscured under their robes, they resemble a humanoid shape made of large purple tentacles. Want to experiment on intruders. Each has a trinket worth 1 gp.

NON-ALCHEMISTS are unarmored and have 2 HD. No normal means of attack, but they deal 1 damage to all nearby intruders per turn, no save. On death, turn into a roiling liquid substance that reforms after 3 rounds if untouched, exploding for 2d6 damage to all adjacent creatures if touched beforehand. No mind, just kind of floats around. Appear to be floating wisplike things with the remains of alchemical robes.

LIVING STATUES have 2 HD, resist all damage rock would resist, and have 16 AC. Want to protect the lab. Carved to look like they’re wearing concealing alchemist robes.

GOBLIN WARRIORS have 1 HD (d6) and deal 1d6 weapon damage. Armor as leather. Wear haphazardly put together metal and leathers as improvised armor.

REGULAR GOBLINS have 1 hp and deal 1d4 damage if they have a weapon (3 in 6). Unarmored. Literally just goblins.

KOBOLDS are trying to steal things from the lab. 1 HD (d4), deals 1d6 weapon damage. Armor as leather.

The CRIMSON CULT is looking for the tainted alchemist transformation. Will give the party a crimson cult spellbook (contains 1d4 spells with a void or eldritch flavor) if they bring the cult the notes.

The MAGE has 3 HD, 3 MD, is unarmored, and knows 4 random spells. Wears ornate red hooded robes with an eye symbol on the front.

The KNIGHT has 3 HD, armor as chain and shield, and attacks with a sword (d8). Wears chain with red cloth over it and a full-head helmet.

The ACOLYTES have 1 HD, armor as leather, and attack with short swords (1d6). Wear red robes with an eye symbol.

The THIEF has 2 HD, armor as leather, a crossbow (d10), too many daggers (d6), and a sack of 1d6 random potions, 2d4 1 gp trinkets, and 1d4 random spell scrolls. Wants to get loot and get out. Is human, wears a dark cloak and leather armor.

HOMUNCULI have 1 HD, armor as leather, claw d6, and an ability based on the metal (d3) 1. Lead, immune to magic. 2. Mercury, can melt to slip through gaps, save vs. poison if hit. 3. Gold, must make a save to strike it. Appear as goblin-shaped creatures made of metal.

The HIGH ALCHEMIST has 6 HD, armor as leather, and knows the spells Transmute, Bolt, Ail, Fabricate, Mend, Radiate, and Ruin. Wants to kill intruders and experiment on the corpses and/or souls. Wears all-concealing grey robes and a golden amulet with the quintessence symbol on it, worth 200 gold. Is a shriveled, preserved corpse underneath.

ENCOUNTER TABLE

1. Adventuring thief
2. 1d6 kobolds
3. Crimson Cultists (1 mage, 1 knight, 1d4 acolytes)
4. Goblin alchemist with 2d8 1 hp goblins
5. Goblin alchemist with 1d4 1 HD goblin warriors
6. A damned alchemist plus 1d4 goblin alchemists
7. Tainted alchemist plus 1d4 homunculi
8. Damned alchemist plus 1 non-alchemist
9. 1d4 non-alchemists
10. Tainted alchemist, non-alchemist, and damned alchemist

Gold spell list:

1. Ail
2. Fabricate
3. Mend
4. Radiate
5. Ruin
6. Transmute

Lead spell list:

1. Ail
2. Bolt
3. Cage
4. Shield
5. Smoke
6. Transmute

Mercury spell list:

1. Ail
2. Berserk
3. Extract
4. Locomote
5. Smoke
6. Transmute

For details, see Sacred Alchemist link at top of post.

Alchemical mixing

Teleportatium: Turns into freezing vapor when lit aflame, vaporizes on contact with acid, transforms copper into brass, burns away into smoke and fire when touching concentrated vis, shoots fireworks towards gold room if mixed with flommuxium.

Berserkium: Turns into pheromone when mixed with flommuxium

Concentrated vis: Dissolves metals on contact (1d6 damage if splashed on a metal creature), burns teleportatium, converts water into more of itself.

Flommuxium: Shoots fireworks towards gold room if mixed with teleportatium, turns into pheromone when mixed with berserkium, becomes unstable polymorphine when mixed with blood and oil.

Toxic sludge: Turns into water when mixed with water.

Thick slime: Explodes on contact with hastium, turns to smoke when mixed with whiskey.