While the PCs are Away (Secret Santicorn 2024: 1d20 Hireling Activity Table)

18 Dec, 2024

Ever wondered what non-dungeoneering hirelings are doing topside while your PCs are busy dungeon delving? Want to make them seem a touch more humanized? Then this table is for you! You can choose to make this happen before the PCs return, or you could have it be in progress when they leave the dungeon and find the chaos.

1. The hirelings found a lost baby animal and want to return it to its mother. Possibly out of self-preservation because they don’t want the mom to find them first. D4: 1. Herbivore that can still probably kill you (moose, buffalo), 2. Dangerous predator (bear, tiger), 3. Something fantastical (owlbear, wyvern), 4. Something the most well-read party member can’t recognize, which is concerning in itself.
2. The hirelings, for no discernible reason, are in the process of digging a large hole.
3. A missionary of a cult (or the majority religion if the PCs and hirelings aren’t part of it) is trying to convert some of the hirelings. If there’s a cult the party is in opposition to, it’s that one. It seems to be working.
4. Someone claiming to be a royal (or other government) official is looking through the hirelings’ stuff, supposedly for tax purposes. 3 in 6 of being legitimate.
5. The hirelings are discussing their opinions on the various party members. There are disagreements and favorites. Base it on how each player has treated their hired hands.
6. A grey horse (weird cloaked thing with a horse skull for a head) shows up and asks in rhyme for the hirelings to give a good rhyme in return, otherwise it’ll take all their food and booze. The hirelings are probably failing.
7. A sinkhole opened up beneath them and dropped one or two hirelings into the dungeon the party is exploring.
8. Some doppelgangers showed up and are trying to impersonate some of the hirelings. Luckily, they haven’t gotten to the “kill” part of “kill and replace” so they’re arguing over which ones are real.
9. A sapient monster that’s normally considered malevolent and dangerous by default is having a casual conversation with the hirelings. 2 in 6 of having no ulterior motive.
10. One hireling is just gone, along with all of the stuff they were supposed to look after. The others say they were taken by some horrible creature through a portal, with no means of pursuit. 4 in 6 that they actually just deserted and the rest are covering for them.
11. Somehow, a demon has showed up and is non-fatally (for now) menacing the hirelings in an appropriate fashion. Use whatever demon seems appropriate to you, or roll here.
12. Roll on the random encounter table for the environment outside the dungeon, the result is tormenting the hirelings.
13. Roll on the random encounter table for the dungeon itself, it went outside just to torment the hirelings.
14. One of the hirelings offended a passing witch/wizard and is now cursed. Think of something fun or roll a d4: 1. Turned into a newt, 2. Spits up a gross animal whenever they try to speak, 3. Everything tastes like apples, 4. Constant minor inconveniences.
15. A traveling merchant is attempting to sell the hirelings something that’s overpriced, impractical, or nonfunctional. They are being surprisingly convincing.
16. A passing knight or other adventuring group is proposing better employment for the hirelings than the PCs can provide.
17. The hirelings have somehow managed to accidentally light the local environment on fire.
18. The hirelings have gotten incredibly, massively high. Possibly due to mushrooms they found, possibly due to their own stash.
19. Another hireling is present that definitely wasn’t there before. The others insist that they were present from the beginning.
20. The hirelings are discussing forming a union/guild with their fellows when they return to town to get better pay for their dangerous working conditions.